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"Let your breath be the first word."
—Jefferson Fisher
What contributes to CEO failure?
"How do CEOs blow it? More than any other way by failure to put the right people in the right jobs—and the related failure to fix people problems in time," says Ram Charan and Geoffrey Colvin in a timeless FORTUNE magazine article published in June 1999.
"Specifically, failed CEOs are often unable to deal with a few key subordinates whose sustained poor performance deeply harms the company. Everyone around the leader knows about these problems, but their opinions are ignored," the writers added.
CEOs know there's a problem, but they suppress it.
The article concludes that the failure is one of emotional strength.
Defining self-control
Self-control plays three vital roles: thinking before acting, controlling disruptive emotions and impulses, and saying "no" to temptation. However important this characteristic is, it's often overlooked when hiring.
Dr. Christopher Barnes from the University of Washington reports that self-control varies over time within the same person.
The studies point in these directions:
- It's a time-limited response. Too much is used in one place, leaving less to be used in another.
- Think of it as a finite cognitive resource. Exerting self-control can negatively affect future self-control if not replenished.
- As self-control depletes, one is more likely to succumb to temptation. Even good people can have weak moments.
- Different types of self-control tap into the same pool of limited resources.
Temperament (personality) and self-control are closely related but not the same. Temperament is innate and influenced by biological factors. Self-control, learned over time, is the key to managing one's temperament effectively.
Desirable habits
Embracing self-control has many rewards, including better people decisions.
A self-regulated condition means eating healthy, improving job performance, and forming higher-quality friendships. Inspiring and intellectually challenging associates rather than abusing and micro-managing them is a plus.
Without self-control, we revert to impulsive decision-making, emotional outbursts, and difficulty managing stress. The literature cautions against sending a text or email or calling someone when angry, as words written or spoken can never be returned.
Judicious restraint using the 24-hour reply rule is a teachable moment, as others pay more attention to what we do than what we say.
A reflective leader
Psychologists define reflection as evaluating our thoughts, behaviors, and motivations. This process is about self-awareness, knowing who we are, and clarifying the boundaries of our lives. Furthermore, this prearranged time helps us assess the quality of our circumstances.
In the age of noise, leaders need to be alone and offline. As the playwright Jon Fosse declares, "The silence speaks."
Suppose we don't periodically reflect on what matters to us. In that case, we can be misdirected by outdated thinking. Or, confused by a disorienting culture whose moral fabric is rated poor by 54 percent of U.S. adults, according to a 2024 Gallup Poll. In that same survey, 83 percent of respondents said that moral values are worsening.
"Leaders have to get outside the emotional climate of the day," writes Edwin Friedman in A Failure of Nerve—Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix. "Vision is generally considered a cerebral event, but the ability to see things differently is an emotional phenomenon," he notes in his last book.
Widely respected, Friedman, a rabbi turned consultant, makes clear that when attempting to engineer an organizational renaissance, those at the top have to muster the inner strength to overcome resistance and rejection, especially from those within who may have lost their will and way.
The gift of sleep
If energy is the fuel for self-control, how do we tank or power up?
Certainly, diet, exercise, and fresh air make a big difference. Experiencing new environments and including individuals of strong character in our circle of friends helps greatly. Continuous learning renews our minds. Don't forget the encouragement and support from families.
Nevertheless, a good night's rest is the greatest daily power source for regaining emotional strength and self-control, which can positively influence one's temperament. After all, the wisdom of ruling our spirit is a time-honored instruction.
Mayo Clinic recommends that adults sleep at least seven hours each night. However, the quality of sleep and routine matter more than the number of hours. REM (Rapid Eye Movement) and deep sleep are required to improve cognitive function and memory, reduce stress, and boost the immune system. Sleep also has a physical healing quality.
Sleep psychologist Dr. Michelle Drerup suggests that the bedroom temperature should be 60 to 67 degrees (15-19 C). "It should be cool, dark, and quiet to enhance sleep," she notes.
Can you ever make up for lost sleep?
"We don't know," says Dr. David Gozal of the University of Chicago. "If a person goes without sleep for just one night and tries to replace that lost sleep—to repay that sleep debt in just a day or two, most likely they will be able to regain normal function. But getting extra sleep does not immediately restore all systems," Dr. Gozal quickly adds.
Buffer days
The late Bob Buford, co-founder of Leadership Network with Fred Smith, liked introducing something he had been thinking about when opening the Network's conferences. One idea that sticks in my mind is inserting "buffer days" into busy schedules—perhaps one or two days to rest—for you and your colleagues, too.
Back-to-back meetings are sometimes a reality. Red-eye flights may be necessary, and overseas travel can cause jet lag. However, an intermittent buffer day can provide emotional strength, offsetting the physical and mental strain of demanding responsibilities.
Author Alan Cohen sums it up this way: "There is virtue in work, and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither."
Sources: Self-control: A vital behavior for leaders everywhere, Sarah Mangia, The Ohio State University, September 15, 2020; Leadership Takes Self-Control. Here's What We Know About It, Kai Chi Yam, Hulwen Lian, D. Lance Ferris, and Douglas Brown, Harvard Business Review, June 5, 2017; Sleep Deprived People Are More Likely to Cheat, Christopher M. Barnes, Harvard Business Review, May 31, 2013; The Skill that Matters Most, Tony Schwartz, Harvard Business Review, September 13, 2011; A Neglected But Essential Leadership Trait--Why Self-Control Really Matters, Prudy Gouirguecheon, Forbes, April 3, 2018.
Strategist.com
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